Let me catch my drift

The Intellectual versus the Lover

2010-08-18T17:25:00.001-07:00

The intellectual is always showing off;

the lover is always getting lost.

The intellectual runs away, afraid of drowning;
the whole business of love is to drown in the sea.

Intellectuals plan their repose;
lovers are ashamed to rest.
The lover is always alone,

The intellectual is always showing off;
the lover is always getting lost.
The intellectual runs away, afraid of drowning;
the whole business of love is to drown in the sea.

Intellectuals plan their repose;
lovers are ashamed to rest.
The lover is always alone,
even surrounded with people;
like water and oil, he remains apart.

The man who goes to the trouble
of giving advice to a lover
gets nothing. He's mocked by passion.
Love is like musk. It attracts attention.
Love is a tree, and lovers are its shade.

-- Rumi

(from 'Love's Ripening: Rumi on the Heart's Journey', translated by Kabir Helminski & Ahmad Rezwani)

Love it!

"I Am"

2010-08-02T17:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Professor,

Here's the poem from today's assignment.

I am Nidhi
and Gods treasure is the meaning of my name.
i am strong, free and independent
i am impatient and my hearts full of pride.
i am a busy little bumble bee

I am a Computer Programmer
I program all day
I google on the internet
and I am happy to be here today

Thanks,
Nidhi Sethi

"What have you, then, which attaches you so strongly to life? "

2010-08-01T21:56:00.000-07:00

This is a passage from Victor Hugo's Notre Dame de Paris that I love.

- "What have you, then, which attaches you so strongly to life?
- "Oh! a thousand reasons!"
- "What reasons, if you please?"
- "What? The air, the sky, the morning, the evening, the moonlight, my good friends the thieves, our jeers with the old hags of go-betweens, the fine architecture of Paris to study, three great books to make, one of them being against the bishop and his mills; and how can I tell all? Anaxagoras said that he was in the world to admire the sun. And then, from morning till night, I have the happiness of passing all my days with a man of genius, who is myself, which is very agreeable."

A call to our global community, a global responsibility

2010-05-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

This morning I learned about this colossal floating garbage patch and as usual when ignorance falls away horror usually follows.
Ever heard about the North Pacific Garbage Patch? Yeah, so that would be a patch of garbage floating 1,000 miles off the coast, west of San Francisco. And as much as my natural inclination is to blame the people, it's not just their fault. So, first the facts. From what I could grasp, there is an ocean swirl and it draws all this garbage into an area estimated to be either the size of Texas or twice that size.. You can't see it from a satellite, it's not as obvious as a land mass, it's millions and millions of broken down plastic pieces, floating. The disturbing thing is this, it breaks down into smaller and smaller pieces to the point where the naked eye cannot see it. Plastic is a material that never goes away. Just because it is smaller in size does not mean it's extinct. It's very much extant and poses an even greater threat. A realy saddening example is that of the fish living in this ocean. When consumed, these plastic particles don't just harm but even cause genetic mutations in the fish. Imagine! We do not want big fish-like looking monsters do we? Right. SO, we must act!

Ok, so that was a really quick break down of the facts. Here's my thought. This is our responsibility; there is garbage from the states, Asia, north, south, east and west! Name it, it's there! Tons and tons of our garbage. In our society where plastic is used for everything, the consequences of its uncontrolled usage are going to come back and bite us hard . Keeping that in mind, starting today, take out a little time to note how much plastic is becoming a part of everyday life. Take a moment to think, where exactly is this non-biodegradable substance going to end up?

You know, I don't plan on becoming a tree hugging hippie, that's not what this is about. This is just one horrified human being trying to communicate to her fellow humans that we need to really asses our human footprint on this earth, it's scary to think where our world will be in 60 yrs if we sit and do nothing.

if you are wondering what the heck this is, it's a deformed turtle ...and that would be a piece of plastic wrapped around it's middle...like really?
This is a dead bird but check out what is inside the body...that's right, it's what the bird ate and probably what killed it.

Darwin's Theory of Evolution :/

2010-03-28T12:11:00.001-07:00

I think that Darwin's theory of Evolution had less to do with Science and more to do with God.
i just think a real man of science would admit to the complexities of life and it's origin......and wouldn't just be satisfied with something that "worked", when actually it really doesn't. Paul simon says it best "a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest", where's the intellectualism in that? there's no room for truth. smart man he was, but his theory had less to do with science and more with god......but that's just me :D ..
i like that.....V......"Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."vhens the vigilantism of your very vorthy V...vigin?

Words Are Wonderful!

2010-03-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

Words,We use them everyday...we communicate with them.Like i am now,You're Reading my words.Neat.Very handy they are words.To express,i mean.A bunch of sounds we recognize.Words.Man made sounds that somehow are more "Sophisticated" than a "bow-wow" or "gaa-gaa" and "goo-goo".Let us appreciate the "coolness" of a word that i happen to find quite chic.FEMININITY.This fine specimen of a word is a word when repeated many enough times will show you the coolness in it.You see according to discoveries , I have discovered this word has an "IN-NEE-NEE" in it.IN NEE NEE!!......so cool!!!
ok bye now.......

:|

P.S.Sleep deprivation makes you go CRAZY like that.

2010-02-01T14:29:00.001-08:00

Edit : My parents bought a new dog and his name is bozo :) And he's the cutest thing ever ^_^

Painting and the aesthetic arts are something I can never learn. I suck at it. Which doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. Heres an example: This is a dog

dog

I have great friends who will not make fun of this note... :|

PHAEDO

2010-02-01T14:28:00.000-08:00

Current Mood : Contemplative

Socrates musings in Plato's works had me come across this certain passage.

It struck a chord so to speak.

MISANTHROPY- comes from the Greek word "miseo" which means to hate, and "anthropos" which means human being.

Now I'd like to think "hate" is too strong of a word. A more accurate description of how I felt the past year is as follows:

"MISANTHROPY comes from believing someone too completely without discrimination, and thinking the human to be speaking the truth wholly and wholesomely, and then finding out soon afterwards that he/she is bad and untrustworthy and quite different; when this happens often to a person, especially from those he/she thought to be his/her closest and truest friends, at last, after so many knocks, he/she hates everybody, and believes there is no soundness in anyone at all."--Socrates

Occassionally I tend to feel like this; but now to a much lesser extent.

"I have become comfortably numb."--Pink Floyd

......( I can't think of one)

2010-02-01T14:26:00.000-08:00

I give myself the benefit of the doubt a lot more than I should, I guess. Things are/were going in a positive direction. There are some things that some people face; you know, confronting their demons in a way. Likely chance that will happen, right? No.
So, for this situation I have learned to turn my heart off. Think with my head instead of my emotions. Those things are being put in my backpack. It's these situations that make me paranoid and think down about myself. I don't know why all of a sudden I am thinking like this. All fall I was fine. Maybe it is the lack of sun and the ambush of snow? Either way I am teaching myself to become a robot. A golden one?

And sometimes in these situations I want something to fight. I want to have the sought after super-strength and bust out a wall; bring down a column; something along those lines....

Story Time

2010-01-16T10:44:00.001-08:00

Nidhi:

Feb 1, 2009

story time(I wrote this personally) it's very close to my heart dude

There was a duckie and a bear ...
the bear loved the duckie
but the duckie couldnt live without water
so the duckie and the bear were part time lovers lol.
the duckie used to live in the water by the day light

 and move in with the bear by the night.

but then bear was upset with duckie
coz he had to walk by the fence to see the duckie
and he had weight problems

lol

My New Year's Resolutions :)

2009-12-28T16:43:00.000-08:00

I know it's only December 28th, but for some reason I have been thinking about my New Year's Resolutions. At least if I start thinking about it now, I will have a plan come January 1st! LOL

1. This new year, I promised myself that I will cool down on all the profanity, cussing, swearing, cursing, and bad language. I'm really firm on this one.

2. This new year, I want to revive all the relationships that I severed last year. I will make it up to my mom, my dad and my brother and his chick.=/ Let me start with calling that "chick" as my sister-in-law. However, I would still continue calling her by her first name because to me she is like my friend. Well, I hope to be able to talk to her as a friend in the near future. I'll make sure that the people in my life know how much they mean to me as often as possible.

3. This new year, I'll just stay aloof from the *crowd*. So, well, I'll only be talking to the chosen few who usually

hear me out when I feel low and have had something to help me with in the past . The rest can stay away.

4. This new year, I'll revive my faith in god again, and no this one time it won't be need-based. I don't need

anything from him. I have my two hands and two legs and I can work towards anything and be able to make it there.

This new year, I just want to thank *my* god(My god is a light) for everything he has done for me, for giving me such parents, for keeping us all healthy and for making me believe in his existence....when you add that to all God blesses us with every day it really is overwhelming!

5. I've been a vegetarian for a little over a year and a half now. This new year, I will continue to stay vegetarian and stay healthy. My great change was based on the very simple instinct that it's wrong to kill animals for food. My most recent shift to vegetarianism was inspired by my mom's surgery.

6. This new year, I will try to find a logical reason for having worn this red thread around my wrist. If the reason accounts to nothingness, I'll just take it off.

7. This new year, I will continue to stay true to myself, to my beliefs, to honesty, compassion and forgiveness. I will work on being more patient. I will approach people and situations with love in my heart.

8. This new year, I will watch kung-fu panda several times all over. I think, It's one movie where you can collect real-life quotes and use it to change your life. I loveee it.

9. This new year, I'll try to control my temper. I'll try to keep my cool and stay as cool as it gets. I will not let the little things bother me anymore. I see a lot of people who get so worked up over the smallest things. It makes me wonder how they’d deal with something major that happens in their life( For the major part, i'm talking about myself here). I guess we all have our bad days, and it’s okay to get mad when somebody does something stupid, but for the most part, just try to let it go !

10. This new year, I'll try not to avoid calls/switch my phone off/ just hang up on them people. I'll talk to them. I have been avoiding talking to some people for sometime now.

11. This new year, I won't use "There's only so much I can do" as a lame excuse/justification for everything.

12. This new year, I will stop eating Hershey's when I'm stressed-out. I have been eating Hershey's as a drug, something I can't really go on without when I'm feeling stressed. How do I know that I'm feeling stressed? I'm eating Hersheys :|

Well, I guess, that’s enough resolutions for one year. ^_^

Seriously ^_^

2009-11-23T05:13:00.000-08:00

I would like to ask you,
how was your 20's like?

Because I am so lost and want to skip my twenties.

Akheer(The last or The End)

2009-10-31T08:44:00.000-07:00

In the End
Nothing will remain ...
what will remain is the name .... the name that is ever existent.

This is one of those Punjabi songs that I like to play on again and again. With a very melodic tune and Poetic and Meaningful Punjabi lyrics, the track if understood can touch the deepest depths of your heart and soul. A song that speaks the ultimate truth of Life, that at the end of everything,when one feels cornered,all he should do (and does) is remember and take His(Lord's) name, because He is the Ultimate Truth.

Jadon sir to chath hi lit jaaye

(When the roof comes off your head)

Badhal bijli sit jaye

(Clouds and lightning come down)

Likihya na hi mit jaaye

(Everything that is written gets erased)

Dharthi chadh jaye tha

(Even the world leaves your side)

Phir Iko kaam tu kare pyariya

(Then do only one thing my love)

Le le usda naam

(Remember God's name)

Jado duniya rabh hi ban jaaye

(When your world becomes one with God)

Panni aag hi ban jaaye

(When your eyes fill with tears)

Ko sawab hi ban jaaye

(When everyone becomes a stranger)

Na abu ranee na ma

(Neither your father or mother are there)

Phir Iko kaam tu kare pyariya

(Then do only one thing my love)

Le le usda naam

(Remember God's name)

Jado buliya ma naya vey

(Until you say your mom's name she wont come)

Haath joyriya mai nai ma nai vey

(Until you pray your hands to God, he wont listen)

Sidhamkar sham hi nai aave Bulan na banere kat ka Phir Iko kaam tu kare pyariya

(Then do only one thing my love)

Le le usda naam

(Remember God's name)

Jado lokhan le tu maran turay

(When you are ready to die for other people)

Sabhan banaye karan turay

(Like a soap you are washing other's sins)

Has Has suni chan turay

(People sit and laugh at you)

Sah rahe na jaayan

(They don't understand you)

Phir Iko kaam tu kare pyariya

(Then do only one thing my love)

Le le usda naam

(Remember God's name...)

Life as i see it!

2009-10-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you don't quite belong? This is going to be one of those blogs. I'm feeling very "on the outside" at the moment. Nothing has changed as far as I'm aware, so I don't really know the reason. I still have the same beliefs, the same principals, same mood swings, same set of friends, every thing's just the same. I still have the same people in my life as over the past few years. But still I feel as if something is changing. Maybe its just the weather and I hate this weather.

Like right now, right now, at this point in time there are so many things I want to do, like travel to Germany, Middle East, Paris, London,... and learn languages and experience different cultures. Or I want to work for a company or start my own startup. Or I want to learn how to play the guitar and have my own cafe where the coffee is good and music never stops in the air. Or raise few kids and give them all the love they deserve in the world. Ahhhh too many to choose from and I just can't make a choice now. I want each and every one of them.

What I am scared of is that while I can't make up my mind, I will miss my train. May be I am too young to even worry about these things right now. But I reckon that people learn from their mistakes and without these mistakes, there are not many that will actually remain as part of us. Or maybe this is just another excuse for making mistakes to kill my time.I don't know.

For the very first time in my life, I really don't know where I am heading to. For the first time in my life, things that were superficially floating in my head and mind are gone and I feel like I am naturally being the only me there is. Nonesense- I know but nonetheless, it all makes sense to me and that is all that matters to me right now. :)

thuggin' fo lyfe!

2009-10-12T10:08:00.000-07:00

I don't know who you are,

what you are,

why you are wherever you are,

just get off my thoughts,

asshole.

"October- And the trees are stripped bare of all they wear, why do i care."

2009-10-12T06:13:00.000-07:00

Today feels so much like fall. In the morning I was a little overwhelmed by this--it seems like it was barely summer at all, and the idea that it's already over is a bit difficult--but I'm starting to come around. The air is crisp and the temperature such that I'm able to wear a sweater and flip flops at the same time, something I always enjoy. This time of year always brings the same set of feelings, but I'm never sure how to describe them. It's this sort of fluttering behind the sternum, this walking with purpose, hoping that the leaves will fall in such a way that I can catch them while I am walking on campus without anyone really noticing. :)

Update: Mood has been lifted again.

My Life, My poem.

2009-10-03T23:28:00.000-07:00

I can't see the light,

I know it's all Bright,

Why can't the light shine on

in my life. -NS (:

(P.S.- I stole this picture from somewhere, just love it.)

2009-08-29T11:55:00.000-07:00

I am an independent, self -righteous, open book in pursuit of the American Dream !

Taking life one second @ a time

2009-05-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

Everything that once seemed unswayable and that has now changed leaves me feeling emptier than I did when I wanted those things to change. I don't know, but I just hate changes now. I get used to the way things are, however much I despise it or rant about it, but I get used to it. Then life comes along and changes it. Sometimes that change may even be better for some people, but I still just hate the newness of life, brought about by those changes. It's really painful to deal with changes in day to day life, however lilliputian they are .

I believe that changes are like chain reaction.Every time I think of a change brought about by another change a chain reaction leads me on to thinking about everything in my life that I miss and things that will soon be gone. It's when you feel that life's getting out of control, spinning at an unforgiving pace, that you need to hold on to something constant. But when life's at a standstill, you desperately hope for changes to come by, you want to jump out of your skin. It's really ironic in the sense that when we're in one world we wish to be in another and vice-versa.

I classify life on two levels - the static level and the dynamic level. Static level is the one where you can pretty much take care of your own life, and, where you get in life is based on your choices and decisions. Whereas the dynamic level is the part of life you have no control over, for instance aging, death so on and so forth. You can't really avoid the dynamic changes , but there are several ways in which you can avoid dealing with changes in life on the static level . One thing that has helped me a ton in dealing with static changes is to avoid changes as much as I can. But I only avoid those changes that I might think will hinder my progress for some stupid superstitious reason made up by my own reasoning. Oh well, for instance I usually avoid sitting in the end rows and corner seats while in the classroom. I believe the only way you can effectively communicate your thoughts, is to avoid as much as you can, what other people think about you, when you communicate your part to the professor or the lecturer. When you're sitting in the front row, you can effectively avoid everyone else whose sitting behind you and that's a really effective way for people to avoid inferiority complexes from those great guys in the classroom!

Getting back to the topic, I hate changes to an extreme degree. Every time I think about bringing a change to my life, I always end up getting a raw deal. Every time I have a spare dollar bill, I end up vending a snicker bar(because I just love snickers). But this one time, which wasn't a long time back, I decided to try a different bar, and I ended up vending a Milky way bar. It was awful *blank stares*, that's what you get when you decide to opt for change!

"what makes my heart beat go crazy fast"

2009-05-01T11:51:00.000-07:00

i wake up. i go to classes. i listen to the same music. i hang out with people. i watch. i speak. i say. i tell. i move. i study. i eat. i sing. i program. i drink. . i call. i talk . i sleep. i wake up. i go to classes...
same old blah blah.
mannerism sucks my world.

hence,
my search of "what makes my heart beat go crazy fast" has begun.

vingt cinq

2009-03-03T16:16:00.001-08:00

1) I'm really weird. I can be super talkative one moment and then completely anti-social the other.

2) I was so so obsessed about Jay Sean. I asked dad to gift me his cd on my 16th b'day and learned all his songs by heart,only because I thought he was so cute.And there's a secret that I want you to know and i.e. we're Sikh. So I thought If I ever move to London,we would meet one day and things will work out and we'll get married the traditional way and that my parents won't have any objections either(so that will be love+arranged for me).

3) I get obsessed with things... Like if I like a particular type of food I'll eat it all the time until I'm sick of it. And the same goes with songs.. I don't ever use Shuffle cause I always know which song I want to listen to. And then I play the same song again and again for about a month.

4) Somebody moved my ALARM CLOCK!. I guess I'm superstitious. I don't believe in the normal ones, I make my own. I never liked it when somebody moved my alarm clock to another place because that'd mean to me that I don't value my time and so if I don't' care for my time, then nobody else would.

5) I love my family - my dad, my mom and my brother. I'm so blessed to have a family like mine even though I get mad at them easily; but I'm really trying hard to work on it. No matter how awful I've been to them, I really love my family.

6) I have lots of 'acquaintances' and have had my fair share of 'bad' ones but I'm almost 20 and I don't have a best friend yet.I have had couple of really great friends.At the time we were completely inseparable, but then we fell out and after being really upset for ages, I figured we weren't meant to be friends.

7) I love gobi ke paronthey with yogurt.

8) Weight matters- I'm on a perennial diet. I haven't lost more than 4 kgs ever. But I'm hopeful.

9) I once got lost at India gate,New Delhi. If it weren't for the nice family who found me and got me back to my parents I would have still been there, I guess. I was 7 then and didn't even know my home phone number, and they didn't have cell phones in those days.

10) I lie to myself, sometimes,in a consoling way. I do that only when I get a horrible gut feeling and It bothers me long enough.

11) I'm not a big fan of change.. and I'm scared of getting old.

12) I love Indian Chinese food.I love the vinegar in it.

13) I have been in love once.

14) I really want to go to a graduate school in computer science and join the league of the geeks~!

15) I want to be able to earn enough money to be able to travel around the world every other month.

16) My love affair with anything sweet is something I just can't give up! I'm addicted to chocolates but I only love vanilla ice cream.It's just classic!

17) I have 2 birthdays just like Queen Elizabeth :D; one of them is on April1st and the other one's on April 6th.If you don't already know why,ask me!

18) I dread going to the eye doctor and dentists.

19) I never in my life had a surprise party.

20) It doesn't take much to make me happy.

21)When I was in school I used to be really good at taking notes. I used to take my notes in a very thin notebook and start writing from top of the page without wasting any lines and clearing out all spaces. And as I did earlier, I still use a combination of pen and a pencil and make a lot of stars in my notebook instead of bullet points. I always learn for my exams by writing notes on an A4 sheet and fill with key points ..the weirdest bit is that I really can't learn without writing.

22) I love to end all my proofs with 'hence proved' and a smiley face :-).

23) I don't see a future for myself in India at this point in life. However much I rant about my life here I really can't think of going back to India... sigh.

24)I'm hyper much.

25)And finally,I want you to read this :
http://blogs.wsj.com/digits/2009/02/10/facebook-mystery-who-created-25-random-things-about-me/

I fear the future....!

2009-02-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

The clock's ticking,the time's withering....

The feeling of fear never goes.It feels like this state of discombobulation in the present is because I fear failure in the future.More than the failure,it's a feeling that possibily in the mere future I might be thrown into a situation which I really dread.I have to keep telling myself that No, I won't find myself abandoned, No,I wont have to live without my parents,and No,I wont have an unsuccessful life and that's what keeps me upbeat (partly)...! What still keeps me going is HOPE.

Imagine what it feels like to be standing amidst people of Intellect without having self-worth.

Imagine what it feels like coming so close as to losing someone you really treasured all your life And,Imagine living a life where you are nobody unless you did something of worth and your name Googles you well.

I penned it all for the day.More later!

-NS